Friendship: The Medicine Of The Soul

Have you ever stopped to notice how insular we’ve all gotten? Look up and down the high street on a busy day, and you’ll see people with their eyes turned downward with headphones firmly placed over their ears, blocking themselves off from the world. Our evenings have become less about life, love and laughter and more about Netflix and chill. In an age where being social means logging onto an app, we are all in danger of losing something truly special. Because spending meaningful time with our friends is extremely important for our general wellbeing. It can keep anxiety, stress and negative feelings at bay, help us to focus on the positives in life (even when life feels overwhelmingly negative) and even make us more attractive…

 

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Social media is not social

Social media absolutely has its place, but it’s no substitute for spending quality time with the ones we love. Social media has an unfortunate way of distorting our perception of others and ourselves. We feel obliged to present the world with a semi-real, stage managed version of our lives while making us feel with nagging certainty that everyone else is having more fun than us. Ditch the apps and get social!

Your friends make you feel valued

Friends who listen, really listen, are precious as they value us and help us to value ourselves. If you’re having trouble with your partner, your know that your friends will listen and advise as best they can without judgment. If you’ve just been to get a hearing aid fitted, they’re anxious to learn more. If you need to have a lengthy rant about work they’ll be there for you while you get it off your chest and if you’ve had a promotion or a bonus they’ll share in your joy.

Your friends break up your routine

We all know the danger of falling into a routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, work, make dinner, eat dinner, tidy up, sleep. It can all make you feel less like a human being and more like an anonymous drone. That’s why you can never underestimate the value in dropping everything for coffee and a catch up with a friend. It can break up the routine and put us back in touch with who we really are inside. If you haven’t touched base with your friends in a long time, pick up the phone tonight!

Your friends make you feel younger

Old friends have a habit of turning us into young friends. The kinds of friends we make in high school and college tend to stay with us for life because you’re able to dip into that wonderful bank of shared experiences which you can reach into and feel the years melt away.

Your friends even make you prettier! 

You’re never more attractive than when you smile! Taking time to hang out with your friends inevitably results in lots of smiles and laughter which are not only great ways of boosting your mood but helps you to look and feel prettier without a single beauty product!

When Friendships End

Friendships are an integral part of the human experience. We need our friends to support us, help us out of bad situations, and just to be there to have someone to enjoy life with.

A lot is said about the pain and heartbreak that people experience when a romantic relationship ends, but what about a friendship? While the feelings might not run as deep as they do compared to a romance, you’re still losing someone significant from your life. You will still feel their absence; still miss them; still struggle without them.

The end of a friendship can be a difficult time, full of upset, misunderstandings, and difficulties. To try and understand how to get through this period in your life, read through the below, and try to put your experience into perspective.

Friendships End Naturally and Without Acrimony

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In most cases, friendships rarely end because of a horrible argument. You won’t lose friends to fights and acrimony, leaving you with a feeling of having been wronged, very often. The most common loss of friendship is simply drifting apart from one another, as your lives and experiences go in different directions.

When life changes, our friendships tend to change too. While TV shows and movies tend to depict friendships as existing from cradle to grave, this simply isn’t the case for the majority of us. We might have a few old friends, but we’re more likely to change friends as we go through life, drawing closer to those we share more experiences with. So if you and your former best friend don’t really hang out anymore, that’s not necessarily a terrible thing– it’s a natural part of going through life.

Coping With Bad Reactions When You Lose A Friendship

If you have lost an important friendship — either through an argument or just drifting apart from one another — then accepting this can be difficult. If you felt that person was deeply important to you, losing them can be jarring and upsetting.

If you spiral into destructive behavior, then it’s important to acknowledge it has happened and seek treatment, be it through seeing a therapist or looking for addiction counseling. There’s nothing wrong with grieving the end of a friendship, but you can’t let it drag you under forever. Feel the sadness of the loss, deal with it in an emotionally healthy way, and then allow yourself to put it into the past. 

Look For New Friends Who Suit How Your Life Is Now

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There’s no doubt that it’s tough to make friends as an adult, but the internet makes it easier than it ever has been before. Look at online forums and local Facebook pages and see if you connect with someone who is more on your level. Developing new friendships to replace those you have lost is important, so while it may feel odd to “put yourself out there”, you’ll benefit from it in the end.

Overall, no matter what the reason for a friendship ending, try and accept that it’s a part of life. Move on, with the help of a counselor if necessary, but keep all the good memories. You can then look back fondly, while moving on into the future with new friends, who fit into your life, and with whom you can make new memories.

 

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